The Happy Arab News Service

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Saving the World, Helping America

Last updated: October 6, 2011

August 4, 2007

Sean Penn was the last in a host of celebrities that descended on Venezuela recently to pay tribute to Comandante Chavez. The list of his predecessors includes actor Danny Glover, singer Harry Belafonte and Cindy Sheehan. Chavez generously invited Penn on board of his presidential Airbus jet for a short trip to werstern Venezuela in a company of other dignitaries from Canada, Poland and Burkina Faso (Chavez's 21st century socialism is extremely popular in Burkina Faso. Unfortunately, one of the poorest countries on the planet, Burkina Faso is still dragging its feet with implementation, excusing itself by the absence of oil).

Chavez has always been of a very high opinion of Penn and he had no intention to hide it, even though this could have upset other dignitaries by making them feel underappreciated.

"He's a courageous man," Chavez said as he introduced Penn to reporters and dignitaries during the flight from Caracas to western Venezuela. "He's very quiet, but he has a fire burning inside."

Sean Penn - Burning from inside

Chavez lauded Penn as "a man who is critical of his government and of imperialism". He also complimented Penn on his style of acting and concluded his laudatory session with "And he's anti-Bush!".

This is not to say that Sean Penn remained owing to the Venezuelan president or something. At the end of the trip, Chavez and Penn donned white lab coats and toured an agricultural research laboratory. Here Chavez made a revolutionary speech addressing a crowd of workers and local residents.

While Chavez made a speech, however, Penn stood at a distance alongside the audience, occasionally jotting down notes. He spoke only when Chavez asked the actor to say a few words.

"I came here looking for a great country. I found a great country," Penn told the crowd.

During the trip the guests were also taken to an area at the border with Colombia. There Chavez noted that this is "one of the most tense zones of Latin America". With a map of the region in his hand, Chavez warned his companions that "the U.S. empire has a strong presence on the Colombian side", sending shivers down the spine of Penn and other dignitaries.

Chavez found in Penn an attentive and understanding listener. At the end of a very fruitful and encouraging exchange of ideas and views between the two that touched on various subjects ranging from the situation of the world in general to internal problems of their home countries, Chavez came up with a few highly practical conclusions:

Enlivened by his conversations with Penn, the socialist president lambasted the U.S. government for "destroying the world" with war and warned of brewing economic troubles, saying Washington should do much more for its own poor.

"There could be a revolution there," Chavez said. "We'll help them. The United States must be helped because the United States is going to implode."

Source: AP via Yahoo

Some dignitaries struggled to comprehend how exactly the comandante is going to help the US. Is he going to help America by helping the revolution to happen or by helping America to prevent the revolution? Yet everybody was greatly relieved to know (Penn in particular because he lives in the US) that the comandante is aware of America's brewing economic troubles and has a clear plan of action for saving the US in case some shit happens.

God Bless America

Or, as they say in Venezuela: Socialismo O Muerte !!!

Penn and Chavez - Saving the World, Helping America

October 6, 2011

Sean Penn is burning again

Sean Penn is on fire again as the revolutionary fervor of the Arab Spring is spreading to the faraway shores of North America. Upon landing in the capital of the Libyan revolution - Benghazi, Penn told an AFP reporter

"This is my first visit to inspirational Libya. I am inspired by the Arab Spring."

Source: CBS

From Benghazi Penn flew to Tripoli where he praised the courage of the Libyan people. Penn declined to comment on exactly what his plans were during a press conference in Tripoli. But then he added, in Penn's inimitable laconic, yet cutting through, style, "I came here looking for a great country. And I found a great country."

Penn's old friend and source of inspiration, Hugo Chavez, was in shock. For a while Chavez was inclined to dismiss the whole thing as another example of how a gringo always remains a gringo. But that would be racist and Chavez, as everybody knows, is against racism. So, instead, Chavez concluded that Penn's impressionability had made him an unstable and immature individual highly susceptible to media manipulations by the US empire. Chavez made sure though to have the political ignorance of his gringo friend exposed for all revolutionary masses around the world to see.

"The Libyans are resisting the invasion and aggression. I ask God to protect the life of our brother Muammar Gaddafi. They're hunting him down to kill him," he said.

"No one knows where Gaddafi is, I think he went off to the desert ... to lead the resistance. What else can he do?"

These are hard times for the revolutionary brotherhood and the sales of low-cost household appliances and other consumer goods have plunged in Venezuela as the revolutionary masses, dismayed by a string of recent setbacks, cut short on eating and drinking and other acts of consumption, dragging the economy down. There was little Chavez could say to encourage the masses, besides reaffirming Venezuela's support for and solidarity with the embattled revolutionaries in the Middle East.

"I spoke yesterday with the president of Syria, our brother President Bashar al-Assad," Chavez said in a televised ceremony to present low-cost household appliances for Venezuelans.

"From here, we send our solidarity to the Syrian people, to President Bashar. They are resisting imperial aggression, the attacks of the Yankee empire and its European allies."

Source: Reuters

Despite the general revolutionary doom and gloom, in the wake of Chavez's address to the masses, the sales of low cost household appliances in Venezuela have indeed recovered a little bit. But with the Yankee empire and its European allies gone on rampage wrecking havoc around the world, who knows for how long...


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Thursday, December 31, 2009

The Eternal Castro

Hugo Chavez said that a military coup against his government does not stand a chance.

Chavez was responding to a prediction by Newsweek magazine, which listed a coup in Venezuela among its world predictions for 2010. It also predicted Chavez's friend and mentor Fidel Castro would die.

"Newsweek magazine takes the liberty of predicting and saying that 2010 will be Fidel Castro's last year on Earth. Well, could it be that he's going to the moon?" Chavez said with a chuckle, dismissing both predictions as the wishes of those who prepared the list.

Source: AP

I have to disagree with the Gran Comandante: The moon is actually becoming a hot topic these days and Castro is by far not alone in this. But Chavez got it right with his general point: it looks like some people just never die.

El Comandante Chavez and his spiritual mentor Fidel Castro


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Thursday, June 12, 2008

The King of kings

Last updated: March 30, 2009

March 24, 2007

When Good Friends Meet

Ruler of Saudi Arabia, King Abdullah Bin Abdul Aziz Al-Saud.

In 2006 the Arab summit in Khartoom failed miserably because many leaders failed to appear:

Abdullah (King of Jordan) didn't attend the Khartoum summit because of Gaddafi's presence and close relations with Sudan.

. . .

Tunisia didn't send a representative because it claims Sudan backed Islamic militants from its opposition. President Hosni Mubarak of Egypt thinks Sudanese officers tried to kill him in 1995. The list goes on.

This year the Arab leaders are going to make another try in Riyadh. Yet some problems are looming:

Libya's leader Muammar Gaddafi attended the summit in Khartoum, but won't attend this year's Riyadh summit because of his spat with Saudi King Abdullah from 2003, as well as claims that he tried to assassinate the Saudi monarch.

Besides Gaddafi's attempts to assasinate some of them, Saudis and other Arab leaders have other and no less valid reasons to resent Gaddafi's presence at the summit:

Gaddafi . . . would also most likely want his one-state solution plan for the Israelis and Palestinians, known as "Isratine" and published in the "White Book," to be taken more seriously by the League. . . (Gaddafi is even ready to give up on Libya's own seat in the Arab League for our joint Israeli Palestinian state . . . Isratine, as he calls it. NB)

Gaddafi's absence is a big disappointment. Even some Israelis (me for example NB) have grown addicted over recent years to Gaddafi's performances in Arab summits translated live by Ehud Yaari.

Gaddafi's antics at the summits are famous. He has more than once walked out of meetings, made derogatory remarks to Arab leaders and ridiculed Arab policy in general. He called the Palestinians and Israelis "stupid," and said prime minister Ariel Sharon was a Palestinian agent since he created the suicide bombers (!!! NB).


Without Gaddafi the summit is a plain waste of time. They should better cancel the whole thing.

June 12, 2008

Be Proud, Obama !!!

The Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi has finally got something smart to say for a change.

We fear that Obama will feel that, because he is black with an inferiority complex, this will make him behave worse than the whites. This will be a tragedy. We tell him to be proud of himself as a black and feel that all Africa is behind him because if he sticks to this inferiority complex he will have a worse foreign policy than the whites had in the past."

The inferiority complex may be actually the smallest of Obama's troubles:

We suspect he may fear being killed by Israeli agents and meet the same fate as Kennedy when he promised to look into Israel's nuclear program.


I would like to take this opportunity and ensure the would-be president of our total and unconditional support. I am also joining the Libyan leader in calling on mr. Obama to overcome his inferiority complex as well as ADHD OCD and all other his disorders and disabilities. Be a proud boy Obama !!! Be brave !!! Africa and Israel are behind you !!!

El Comandante Muammar


After having carefully considered the matter I came to think that it's only fair and of a good taste that every region in the world would have its own Hugo Chavez.

Thinking does not come easily to revolutionaries

El Comandante Chavez with his spiritual mentor Fidel Castro

February 3, 2009

The King of kings

DAKAR, Senegal — President Muammar el-Qaddafi of Libya was named chairman of the African Union on Monday, wresting control of a body he helped found and has long wanted to remake in his pan-African image.

His installation as the new head of the 53-member body resembled more of a coronation than a democratic transfer of power. Colonel Qaddafi was dressed in flowing gold robes and surrounded by traditional African leaders who hailed him as the “king of kings.”

. . .

Source: The New York Times

Gaddafi - The king of all kings

February 28, 2009

The Friend of friends

The president of African Union, Muamar Gaddafi, urged the International Court to drop its proceedings for the arrest of Sudanese President Omar Hassan al-Bashir on accusations of masterminding genocide of hundreds of thousands of Afro-Muslims in Darfur. Speaking at a meeting on cooperation between the United Nations and African Union, el Comandante Muamar said:

Why do we have to hold President Bashir or the Sudanese government responsible when the Darfur problem was caused by outside parties, and Tel Aviv [Israel], for example, is behind the Darfur crisis?


The beleaguered Bashir, long under siege by the International Court and human rights brigades, in his turn has expressed gratitude for the support of African Union and its president. The episode also demonstrated that Gaddafi knows better than just assassinating his colleagues (see the beginning of the post). He is a good friend who can be relied upon.

Muamar Gaddafi - The king of all kings and a friend of his friends

March 19, 2009


I think this post can't be complete without a search that hit my blog from Google-Libya...

Why? You will have to read this whole post from the beginning to know why

:D :D

March 30, 2009

British Product vs The King of kings

By SALAH NASRAWI, Associated Press Writer Salah Nasrawi

DOHA, Qatar – Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi stormed out of an Arab summit on Monday after denouncing the Saudi king and declaring himself "the dean of Arab rulers."

Gadhafi disrupted the opening Arab League summit in Qatar by taking a microphone and criticizing Saudi's King Abdullah, calling him a "British product and American ally."

When the Qatari emir tried to quiet him, the Libyan leader and current Africa Union chairman insisted he be allowed to speak.

"I am an international leader, the dean of the Arab rulers, the king of kings of Africa and the imam (leader) of Muslims, and my international status does not allow me to descend to a lower level, (!!! NB)" Gadhafi said.

Gadhafi, who is known for his unpredictable behavior, then got up and walked out of the summit hall. A Libyan delegate said he went to an Islamic museum in Doha for a tour.


Impeccable logic...

:D :D

Muamar Gaddafi - an International Leader

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Monday, January 14, 2008

Here I am, o Lord!

A brilliant improvisation on one of Chavez last interviews from Simply Jews. Reprinted here with their permission for my Chavez collection.

Hugo Chavez: here I am, o Lord!

In a typically selfless act of courage, Chavez threw his weight on the scale to protect his friends.

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez called Friday for Europe to remove from its list of terrorist organizations two Colombian groups -- including FARC, the group that freed two hostages Thursday in a mission Chavez organized.

"Take me instead", shouted Chavez to the astonished journalists, "and let my people go!".

When asked why ELN and FARC kidnap people, kill other people and trade in cocaine, Comical Hugo answered that the journalists should learn and understand the real Bolivarian way and the real Bolivarian project.

"No one should be bothered by it", he said, "It is absolutely essential to do so."


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Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Socialismo O Muerte: That is the Question

Sunday, 24 April, 2005

Populist President Hugo Chavez has urged Venezuelans to draw inspiration from the figure of Don Quixote.

. . .

"We're still oppressed by giants", the Venezuelan Minister of Culture, Francisco Sesto, told the BBC, "so we want the Venezuelan people to get to know better Don Quixote, who we see as a symbol of the struggle for justice and the righting of wrongs."

. . .

People in the Venezuelan capital Caracas have been queuing around the block to collect free copies of the Spanish masterpiece Don Quixote.

The Venezuelan government is handing out a million copies to mark the 400th anniversary of its publication.

Source: BBC

Bravo Pueblo de Venezuela, los Molinos los Esperan !!!

The Palis on such an occasion would have been chanting something like: With our spirit and our blood, we will redeem you, Abu Quixote !!!

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Sunday, March 18, 2007

Two Massively Intelligent Persons

"I understand you drink too much coffee?" said ABC News' Barbara Walters during an interview with Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez.

. . . she urged Chavez to drink his coffee, saying "I understand you drink too much coffee?"

(For god's sake, where is logic here ??!! NB)

"Yes, but you didn't drink yours," Chavez replied through an interpreter.

You want mine?" Walters asked.

"Give it to me, I will drink it," Chavez said.

(And what is *this* shit? He can't make himself another coffee? NB)

Walters noted that Chavez is divorced, and asked whether he wants to remarry.

"It is very hard to be married," Chavez said. "I have been married twice. But it is very hard."

I agree. It's a kinda difficult when you are so busy destroying your country.

Walters also asked Chavez about calling Bush the devil, a donkey and a murderer.

"Yes, I called him a devil in the United Nations. That's true. In another occasion, another time I said that he was a donkey because I think he is very ignorant about things that are actually happening in Latin America, and the world.

Chavez is sure much more knowledgeable, he's been to Iran.

If that is in excess on my part, I accept. And I might apologize. But who is causing more harm? Do I cause any harm by calling him a devil? He burns people, villages, and he invades nations."

Asked if he would invite Bush to Venezuela under any circumstances, Chavez said no. "Never. I said in Buenos Aires that he was a political corpse. Fortunately, he will not remain in office for long."

Yes. Unlike Chavez, Bush has no chance to throw the limit of two consecutive terms out of the window by a presidential decree.

After part of the interview was shown, Walters offered her impressions about the Venezuelan leader.

"He's passionate about his dislike for George Bush. He does like this country, he's passionate about his feelings about America. He feels that with a new president, that we can be friends. He cares very much about poverty, he's a socialist," Walters said.

Good. But I remember he proclaimed himself a communist recently.

"But he's not the crazy man we've heard," she added. "This is a very intelligent man."

I would say that this is as bloody true as that Barbara Walters is a fucking very intelligent woman.

Walters said she sees similarities in the "larger than life" personalities of Cuban leader Fidel Castro and Chavez. "He sang to me" during the interview, she added.


Well. That certainly explains it.

Good Friends

Chavez and Iranian President Ahmalalah

Chavez, Ahmalalah and Ali Khamenei, the spiritual leader of Iran and Hezbollah, in Tehran

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Thursday, January 11, 2007

Discover the Real Jesus

Hugo Chavez has celebrated his re-election in Venezuela by announcing that the transitional period is over and a new era has arrived. Telecoms, refineries and electricity industries are all earmarked for the next stage of nationalization. Chavez revealed his intentions to refuse renewing the broadcasting license of the largest opposition-run television channel. Central Bank is going to lose its autonomy. Provincial governors will lose much of theirs too. The bar on the indefinite re-election of the president is going to be removed of course. More is in stock.

Basically Chavez is not going to be messing with political procedures to push through his radical program because, as he explained, he would ask the Assembly, now under a total control of his supporters, to pass a law that will enable Chavez to rule by decree. He promised that a new package of socialist reforms he is preparing will be much more radical than that of 2001 which provoked a failed military coup against his presidency.

At a ceremony to swear in the new government held on January 8th, Chavez gave a clue to what it's all about and surprised many, including London's Economist, by announcing that he is no pussy mussy socialist but a full scale hardcore communist. The Economist reports:

. . . Behind Mr Chávez as he spoke was a 10-metre-high close-up of his own face and hands, reminiscent of a bishop blessing his flock. Along with the mounting personality cult is a change of language. The president sneered at those, including Catholic church leaders, who have wondered aloud what his much-trumpeted plan for “21st century socialism” really consists of.

The bishops, he said, should read Marx, Lenin and the Bible (!!! NB). “Christ was an authentic communist, anti-imperialist and enemy of the oligarchy (!!! NB),” he said. He added that he himself had been a “communist” since at least 2002 (at the time he claimed to want to “improve capitalism”.) It is the first time that he has publicly assumed that description. He signed off with a slogan (“fatherland or death, we shall prevail”) coined by his friend, Cuba's Communist president, Fidel Castro.


One can only keep laughing when reading this because the Economist published a special report on Venezuela not so long ago in which it urged the US to be less confrontational with Chavez. In fact the Economist repeatedly commented on Chavez's 21st century socialism, demonstrating this subtle and nuanced approach so characteristic of the European political thinking. Specifically, as the Economist argued, there is no communism there, and Chavez may be a nasty guy, but this hardly makes him a communist dictator. The Economist deplored the Yankees' love for oversimplifications and their inability to perceive subtleties.

Now, when the gloves are off, suddenly the Economist went surprisingly low profile on what the Yankees and Chavez's neighbors should do about this raving idiot. Just when all of them are in the most dire need for a good advise, the embarrassed Economist has switched from generously throwing out free advises all around to strictly bare reporting on anything related to Venezuela. One just can't help noticing that while George Bush and his team are certainly no geniuses, it is the highly sophisticated and refined Economist who ended looking a total idiot.


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