The Happy Arab News Service

Thursday, September 24, 2009

What does the UN do?

September 8, 2009

Switzerland delenda est

Col Muammar Gaddafi's Libya proposed a UN motion calling for the abolition of Switzerland after a dispute over the arrest of one of the president's sons, it has emerged. The Alpine country should be folded into France, Germany and Italy, according to the bizarre proposal.

Source: Telegraph

September 24, 2009

Man and beast was torn asunder...

Such was the effect of an incredible last performance by the King of kings in the UN General Assembly. It lasted for almost 100 minutes instead of 15 and exceeded all expectations. This is for example what the King of kings thinks about the Taliban and Vatican.

Gaddafi was also reported to have intimated that Israel was involved in JFK assassination and that swine flu has originated in secret labs of the CIA or something like this.

He called Obama "our son" referring to Obama's African roots and suggested that Obama should be ruler-for-life of the U.S. "How can we guarantee America after Obama?" he said. Well, the colonel got the point. We can't, unless the Yankees make him their permanent president.

At some point he called the Security Council the Terror Council and seemed to try to tear the United Nations Charter on the grounds that he did not recognize the authority of the document.

By the time "the leader of the revolution, the president of the African Union, the king of kings of Africa" (this is how he was introduced to the General Assembly) finished the speech, the place was largely empty. The Great Leader retired from the scene triumphantly waving his hand in the air.

Some Arab diplomats, who reportedly spent a major part of the speech rolling on the floor laughing, claimed in private conversations that the speech was Gaddafi's vintage point that blew away even those Arabs used to his regular performances at meetings of the Arab League.

Notwithstanding, this blog hails the King of kings and dedicates the following video to his honor.

September 25, 2009

Bring them all!

After struggling to turn Khadafy’s insane ramblings at the UN into English for 75 minutes, the Libyan dictator’s personal interpreter got lost in translation.

"I just can’t take it any more," Khadafy’s interpreter shouted into the live microphone – in Arabic.

At that point, the U.N.’s Arabic section chief, Rasha Ajalyaqeen, took over and translated the final 20 minutes of the speech.

"His interpreter just collapsed – this is the first time I have seen this in 25 years," another U.N. Arabic interpreter told The Post.

Source: New York Post
(Many thanks to Bruno for the link)

Now if you have been wondering about the poor quality of translation in the video above, bear in mind that it was Gaddafi translated live by his hand picked interpreter. According to the Post, Gaddafi told the UN that regular UN interpreters don't understand a special dialect the Leader of the Revolution speaks and so he had to bring one from Libya. This created a certain confusion given that it's known that Gaddafi can speak standard Arabic. The misunderstanding was absolutely unnecessary, however, as the special dialect of Gaddafi has little to do with Arabic and its varieties but a lot with the way Gaddafi is draining sanity from those attempting to translate his verbal diarrheas. "He’s not exactly the most lucid speaker. It’s not just that what he’s saying is illogical, but the way he’s saying it is bizarre," one Arabic interpreter said.

Gaddafi's orations apparently also have a certain tendency to degenerate into incoherent ramblings presenting a particularly tough challenge for translation. "Sometimes he mumbles, sometimes he talks to himself," another interpreter said. Gaddafi's habbit to regress into unconscious states of mind and keep mumbling to himself during his speeches makes him similar to another prehistoric creature, though unlike Gaddafi that creature tended to do this while submerged in mud instead of while orating and it went extinct a while ago.

(Another explanation for Gaddafi's insistence on dragging his interpreter after him to all international forums is that, as Gaddafi is growing senile, he seems to be increasingly sinking into that conspiratorial paranoia mindset so typical of the Arabs and other Middle Easterners. He is probably mistrusting other interpreters, suspecting them of taking part in some global international conspiracy to prevent him from delivering his message to the world's masses)

Anyway, as Gaddafi was laying siege to the sanity of his audience, his own interpreter was toast half way through the speech and the U.N.’s Arabic section chief was provided with a day off the very next day after attempting to translate the last 20 minutes of Gaddafi's insanity. Some could not take it anymore even before. Such was the US president Barack Obama, who escaped the premises immediately after he finished with his own speech and before Gaddafi proceeded to tearing his interpreters and audiences asunder.

The circus definitely did not end with Gaddafi as the podium was later taken over by the likes of Chavez and Ahmadinejad. The last one has again bored the living daylights out of the audience with his peculiar Holocaust, or better anti-Holocaust, obsession. It's a shame Farouq Hosny has narrowly missed his chance to become the next head of UNESCO. He could be a valuable addition to the Middle Eastern section of a zoo they are running over there in New York. In conclusion, I would like to raise my voice to support many other sane people on this planet who argue for expanding the ranks and strengthening the authority of the UN and other international organizations. No multilateralism is complete unless every King of kings and other visionaries of the Middle East are on board. Go bring them all!

September 26, 2009

From my comment on another blog...

It’s plain obvious to any sane person that Gaddafi by now has largely lost his sanity. Gaddafi cannot be held responsible for what’s happening to him as he is out of his mind since years ago. Not that he is the only person in the world who on having reached old age experiences various cognitive problems, but in normal countries such people are usually taken care of by their families and social services. They are certainly not supposed to be a head of state.

That we are blessed with him lecturing in the General Assembly for hours is precisely because the Arab world from where he hails has not one single country that can be defined as even remotely normal and because we have this thing called the UN that provides them podium. Otherwise Gaddafi would have been promptly dispatched to some nursing facility or at least his insanity would have been confined to Libya and meetings of the Arab league. So it’s very apt that Gaddafi would come forward and call for the reform of the Security Council and such stuff because this is exactly what it’s about and Gaddafi represents well the theatre of absurd of this international multilateralism. The Arabs can at least be partially excused for this mess because until Gaddafi dies and his son takes over, they are stuck with him. But the Africans have simply elected him to head the AU this year out of their free will, when he appeared before them in his plain insanity. The global warming and sub-Saharran Africa’s "sub-replacement" IQ levels cannot make one more skeptical about the future of this continent than the fact that these clowns have elected Gaddafi to represent them.

Give more power and representation in international forums to all these Arab and African pseudo states and it will get even more hilarious. The West should get realistic about this family of nations and global community blah blah blah and start quietly sidelining the UN. Serious matters can be sorted out on Western internal forums. If necessary, BRIC nations can be invited. But the UN is a parody and to talk in serious about reforming it or its Security Council is beyond parody... Unless of course to reform means kicking out all these clowns starting from Gaddafi through Ahmadinejad to all other Kings of kings and leaders of revolutions.

Source: Mad dog at Turtle Bay

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